Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
