I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Still dying that you shit outside
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
