My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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