do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
