She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
