Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
