And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
