She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
