i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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