This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
