I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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