We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
