he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
