ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
