So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
