You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
