ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
