So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
