no. you can't hotbox the world.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
