i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize