I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
