Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
