Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
