is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
