i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I got inside last night via doggy door
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
