Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
