Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
