I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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