Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I need a beard to bite.
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