She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
