I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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