god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
