yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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