dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
