oh god the rape fog is back!
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
