He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize