oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
