the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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