it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
