cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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