Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize