clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
