So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
