i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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