I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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