You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
