trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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