Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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