I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
