Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
