I wish i was in the wii world.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
