I've blown a few things in my day
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
