We got so high we made milksteak
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize