Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I want to be your penis for a week.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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