That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize