Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
So many bounce houses so little time
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
