Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
