Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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