I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
