I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
