if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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