We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
