That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Randomize
