Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize