The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
