the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
