She announced her abortion via fbk
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
