It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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