Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
